May 13, 2010

Waiting for the 24 roses


 

The only reason for my recrudescence, in the pages of this blog today, is to narrate the memoirs of a man, with whom I had chanced upon to meet early in my life. Weaving a story is not my forte and therefore I will stick to plain facts and will try to account the events properly. I will try not to form an opinion about this person myself, but will leave it to my readers to judge for themselves.


People say, relationships grow stronger with time...but our bond has grown firm along with the distance between us. Now, I feel as if I have reached the top of a hill from where I can see the past lie limpid before me. But as I try picking up events from there, time seems to slip out of the hand and I run back and forth in time, to catch a glimpse of his face in the afterglow of this past.

Delving into the depths of time, the first thing that I recall, is the myriads of bed-time stories he would tell me, putting me to sleep. Even today I can recollect some droll names from those yarns like 'Olin Brenda', 'Satish', 'Roshul' and 'Lalkankra'.

He used to love the moon - crescent, half, full, give him any shape. He didn't have a good camera, not even a mobile phone. He called it the "necessary evil"! I used to watch him, sometimes, make do with my mobile phone camera, capturing flowers - those in his garden and that of his neighbours', of the dawning sun, the moon, of streets, trees, ponds and practically everything under the sun. I knew that he was an average photographer, and his near and dear ones never appreciated the collages he would make out of these photos. But, then, it was definitely not a fad for him and there was no denying his passion for this art and for the rich and vibrant hues! He had joined Flickr and soon made friends out of hundreds of strangers. They gradually began to notice his uniqueness in creating collages, and the subtle touch in their captions. And voila! One day his pictures started 'exploring'. It is a term that the Flickrians use when a photo gets the highest appreciation in the site. Nothing could make him more happy but this appreciation. I sometimes visited his Flickr pages and noticed how his pictures were applauded by brilliant photographers, who themselves have captured some out-of-this-world photos with their expensive digital cameras. It was then that my heart swelled up in pride for him.

He was basically a man of ideas...he loved to dwell in them. By social standards, he would have been categorized as ordinary, but not by the standard of knowledge and 'creative' was the only word that would suffice for him for he always thought ahead of his time.

The two things which I saw him do most, during his lifetime, were read and write. Apart from writing blogs (he had five blogs to his credit, each of which was on a different subject), he loved reading juvenile story books, besides his usual ones. Even at 67, he was never old at heart. He was an adroit letter-writer too. Post-retirement he would go on scribing letters for each and everybody that came with a request. The biggest achievement, that came his way, was when he made a woman get her due share of insurance money by writing for her to the 'unwilling' insurance company.

He used to shower me with surprises every now and then...from small souvenirs to some of the expensive cell phones, when the earlier ones turned dead. The list cannot end without my mentioning the 'red roses' which he used to gift me on my birthdays, the same number of roses equal to my age each year.

Travelling with him was a real treat. Every time I went on a holiday with him, I was an eager concomitant, walking on the streets of a South-Indian city, whenever we visited the place and which was quite frequent. His favourite haunt was a roadside tea-stall, as he had grown a liking for the owner's son Raja. Once he captured a photo of this man and on his next visit, gifted it to him. Raja was so happy! His enthusiasm didn't stop short at that. He even took the photograph of a rickshaw puller called Lawrence with whom he had made an acquaintance a short while ago. But unfortunately, he was not available the next time we went there to gift him the photo. Later we came to know from another rickshaw wallah that this Lawrence had run away, on fearing that probably a policeman in camouflage was asking for his address. We had tired ourselves out that day laughing at this hilarious incident.

He always believed in making friends with the underdogs. His best friends were the van wallahs and the green grocers. There were so many incidents of his helping them out of the way, but that would be another story altogether. He found his contemporaries boring and could chat with the younger generation about any subject...from politics to spirituality, and from films to literature, over his favourite cup of tea any time of the day.

He had a particular liking for perfumes and good cigarettes. He believed that perfumes were made in heaven, though he never bought an expensive one for himself, neither perfumes nor costly cigarettes. I still remember him showing off a foreign-made perfume to everybody, which his son had brought him from abroad. That was his one and only luxury. He never liked shopping for himself but cherished everything his family bought for him.

In his roof-top garden he had a large collection of flowering plants. Though he didn't fancy gardening as a hobby, but he loved, no doubt, each of them as his own children. They loved their share of silent talks with him at dawn, everyday when he went up to water them. He told me how a particular pink rose at the corner of the garden had once greeted him!

However, at times, I couldn't say what turn his humour would take and we often had our share of scraps over the quelque chose. There were these tindery situations when I would think him to be corny and brash. You can well imagine what would happen when two completely different mind-sets collided. He always came around as the winner and I would find myself in one corner, crying and being vindictive. Much later, when I ponder over these heated dissertations, I feel somehow that he was sometimes right and I had failed to understand him then. He had only tried to make me understand how to accept things that may come along the way, and to face life as it is.

He had a queer fascination for trains. He sometimes joked that if he wasn't what he was, he would have been a 'Rajdhani Express' driver. Then he would try to impress upon me the majesty of being one and the adventures that one could have by being such a driver. One of his blogs, about which I had mentioned earlier, was completely devoted to a fictitious station called 'Sitarampur' and to the train 2115 UP which haulted at this station daily.

So long from what I have portrayed here, the readers must not think him to be a very sociable person. He mostly kept to himself, busy with his computer, and lived a kind of inner life which I think is probably a product of his introspection.

All the events subsumed here are a reminiscence of the time I spent with him and got to know him from close quarters. There are so many other bijou moments of his life that if I try to fill in all the minutiae here, it would surely make a novella out of it.

And then came a day, when he vanished from my sight, like a long dream which has given way to a harsh reality. He had always protected me from that reality, taking care to keep me far from the dealings with the outer world, covering me up in a cosy cocoon. The clock hasn't stopped counting the seconds since then, which eventually turned into minutes and finally into many hours, days and months...but I still see him through my mind's eye - a small branch of krishnachuda in hand, eagerly waiting to be photographed, and he smiling at me.

I have tried not to break anything since then, neither promises nor relationships because what once slips out of the hand, goes forever, never to return. And things never seem to be the same again.

He was many things to many people, but for me he was a friend, a philosopher and a guide...but most truly he was my father!

PS: I cannot conclude without acknowledging the inspiration behind my taking up the pen again, my mother.

The photograph of the krishnachuda blossoms above was taken by my father on May 4, 2009.

3 comments:

  1. By simply writing this piece, as a daughter you have duly paid back to the last farthing all the love that he must have felt for you. For to write such a magnificently beautiful memoir is to reveal the immense bond that was between you and the chords of your heart that still beat to that love.

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  2. An acquaintance has a beginning but ends with the purpose served and in contrast a friendship blooms like a flower. Who knows when it’s started ? Then grows and grows and grows. As it grows it opens up its shape, hues and then, above all, the heavenly fragrance, spreading and pervading all over. Such was the friendship, rather, friendly relationship for a long period of about four decades with this man I had, who bade me adieu a year ago. Though I never saw him gather mass in body during pre-marriage to post-retirement age-bracket, in which most of the human bodies take queer different shapes, but I surprised to see how much a man could gather in mass of knowledge in such a small head. A body as slim and tall as a ‘deodar tree’ and equally flexible while situation compels, engulfed this man of my one of the most beloved personalities I ever came across.

    While in physical appearance, both in face to face situation, it was a matter of happiness, a solace for me to pass time to hear him speak. Subject ? Anything under the sun. A living encyclopeadia in himself. But for most of the time it finished with a spiritual fragrance. The beauty of his speaking was not only in subject but the conviction also he used to put to his sayings using the chaste and elegant words mixed with a tasty gravy of reasoning. So, difficult to contradict. Having allowed me in his confidence, he could well expose his heart to me as to his own branches. So I got the opportunity to know him from very close range.

    As the fate has created a void, snatching him away from me, I can now feel that his was a great soul with a heart of a poet, a painter, a composer and a philosopher. He could feel by heart the happiness of a flower, sorrows of a wretched man in the road, beauty in the raging storm and the hapless condition of the broken heart of a woman. Such empathetic feeling of a heart is only possible for a great soul indeed. And he possessed that.

    Notwithstanding his apparent dislike and repulsion for his own race of Bengali, he never showed any disrespect for the motherland India. Rather, he was always in praise of being born in India, a land of great Rishis who gave us the scriptures of highest philosophical truth and chosen by the Creator to make it His second paradise. Dwelling on such philosophy in basics he gradually became a philanthropist by heart. As a result he could establish a natural sweet relation with any Tom, Dick and Harry on the street toiling for meager livelihood. Status was no bar to him as he himself never showed off any sign of that, commonly adhered to by metropolitan community.

    ‘Anandam’, the blissful existence, the true happiness of soul, perhaps, was the main guiding force in the core of his heart. That’s why he used to maintain a living in recluse by engaging himself in creating beautiful collages using colour mixing out of his own super-natural domain of imagination, traversed by him alone, in the small canvas of his PC and placed them in his favourite Blogs : Babul’s World, Coloured World and alike. His aesthetic sense of high degree can be gauged from his picturisation of very common objects of nature that are normally overlooked by men in general and that too, without help of any hi-fi apparatus. He could play with the mystic colours from the Picasa pallets. And that he developed in a couple of years after buying a PC, not for his own purpose, but by compulsion. Any of his creative compositions in his blog ‘Coloured World’ can justify a truth that his soul had a vision of a blissful world beyond this one known to us.
    I have to miss such a rare humane friend of mine for ever, alas. Now I only pray :

    Let my beloved friend, free from earthly slog,
    Rest in eternal Peace with his heavenly blog.

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  3. Krishnachuda, as he well knew, is the symbol of Realisation. So I take it that May 4, 2009 was the day of a realisation for him. Why God created death I can't say...I hope all this price we have paid will one day be compensated by some everlasting and unthinkably great existence...

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